Some people, regardless of what they lack—money, looks, or social connections—always radiate with energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical individuals find themselves enamored with these charming personalities。
有些人，無論他們是否缺乏豐厚的財富，還是光鮮亮麗的外表，抑或是強大的人脈，他們都總是散發(fā)著精力充沛，自信心滿滿的氣場。甚至是最吹毛求疵的人，都發(fā)現他們已經中了這些迷人個性的毒了。
These people are the life of every party. They’re the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship。
這些人是每一個群體的生命力所在，也是你愿意尋找?guī)兔Γ髑蠼ㄗh和建立合作關系的對象。
You just can’t get enough of them, and they leave you asking yourself, "What do they have that I don’t? What makes them so irresistible?"
你就是無法抗拒他們，并且他們的存在還會讓你情不自禁地問自己：“到底他們有些什么東西是我沒有的?為什么他們如此讓人無法抗拒?”
The difference? Their sense of self-worth comes from within。
你們的區(qū)別是什么?答案是，他們由內而外的自我價值感。
Irresistible people aren’t constantly searching for validation, because they’re confident enough to find it in themselves. There are certain habits they pursue every day to maintain this healthy perspective。
有魅力的人并不常常需要別人的肯定，因為他們的自信足以讓他們從自身找到成就感。他們都有每天為之努力的追求，以保持健康的心態(tài)。
Since being irresistible isn’t the result of dumb luck, it’s time to study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit。
當你意識到這種迷人的個性并不是天上掉下的餡餅，那么你就應該從這些散發(fā)迷人魅力的人身上好好學習他們的習慣了，還能為己所用呢。
Get ready to say “hello” to a new, more irresistible you。
準備跟一個全新的，更迷人的你說聲“你好”吧。
1.They treat everyone with respect。
1. 無論是誰，同等尊重。
Whether interacting with their biggest client or a server taking their drink order, irresistible people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that—no matter how nice they are to the person they’re having lunch with—it’s all for naught if that person witnesses them behaving badly toward someone else. Irresistible people treat everyone with respect because they believe they’re no better than anyone else。
無論是與最位高權重的客戶打交道，還是給服務員下餐單，萬人迷總能一視同仁地保持禮貌和尊重。他們很清楚地知道，無論他們多么的友善地對待一同就餐的伙伴，如果讓對方看到了你對其他人卻是頤指氣使，那么這一切將會是徒勞無功的。有魅力的人對待每個人都是那么的尊重有禮，因為他們認為每個人都是平等的。
2.They follow the platinum rule。
2. 遵守“白金法則”。
The Golden Rule—treat others as you want to be treated—has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things. One person loves public recognition, while another loathes being the center of attention。
“黃金法則”指的是：對待他人如同你自己想被對待的樣子，但這有一個致命的缺陷：因為這認為所有人都希望以同樣的方式對待。這就忽略了人隨事情而變的關鍵了。因為在某一種情況下他希望獲得公眾的關注，而在別的場合則不想成為關注的焦點。
The Platinum Rule—treat others as they want to be treated—corrects that flaw. Irresistible people are great at reading other people, and they adjust their behavior and style to make others feel comfortable。
而“白金法則”是：對待他人的方式，就是他人希望被對待的方式，這就彌補了缺陷了。萬人迷善于讀取他人的內心所想，然后再調整自己的行為方式讓他人感覺到舒服。
3.They ditch the small talk。
3. 他們也會閑聊。
There’s no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming during a conversation than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach people with small talk this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Irresistible people create connection and find depth even in short, every day conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told to other important facets of the speaker’s life。
沒有比閑聊更能毀掉交談中產生情感聯系的方法了。當你像機器人一樣生硬地與別人閑聊，別人只會覺得死板無趣，也不能與你建立多親密的聯系。而萬人迷則不一樣，他們很善于建立聯系，甚至能從每天的短暫閑聊中發(fā)現深度的東西。他們對別人真誠的關注能夠讓他們非常輕松地提出好問題，還能把交談內容聯系到對方生活中的其他方面。
4.They focus on people more than anything else。
4. 比其他人更關注“人”。
Irresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they don’t spend much time thinking about themselves. They don’t obsess over how well they’re liked, because they’re too busy focusing on the people they’re with. It’s what makes their irresistibility seem so effortless。
萬人迷對身邊的人都保持真正的興趣，這就導致了他們很少為自己著想。他們不會沉迷于自己有多出色，因為他們花太多時間在身邊的人身上了。這也就使得他們的不可抗拒性看起來是如此的毫不費勁了。
To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smart phone and focusing on the people you’re with. Focus on what they’re saying, not what your response will be, or how what they’re saying will affect you. When people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open-ended questions to draw them out even more。
把這種習慣應用起來，然后放下你的手機，多關心身邊的人。留意他們說話的內容，而不是你的回應，或他們的話對你的影響。當別人跟你傾訴他自己的事情的時候，多提出開放式的問題讓對方給你更多信息。
5.They don’t try too hard。
5. 他們不是“拼命三郎”。
Irresistible people don’t dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are. It’s not that they’re resisting the urge to brag. The thought doesn’t even occur to them because they know how unlikeable people are who try too hard to get others to like them。
萬人迷不會用華麗的故事吹噓自己的成就來獲得交談的主動權。這并不是因為他們在抑制吹噓的欲望，而是他們甚至沒有想過這件事，因為他們知道，那些想方設法成為與他們一樣的人是多么的不討喜。
6.They recognize the difference between fact and opinion。
6. 能夠區(qū)別事實與觀點的差異。
Irresistible people handle controversial topics and touchy subjects with grace and poise. They don’t shrink from sharing their opinions, but they make it clear that they’re opinions, not facts. Whether discussing global warming, politics, vaccine schedules, or GMO foods, irresistible people recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they are see things differently。
萬人迷能夠優(yōu)雅平靜地處理一切紛爭與敏感話題。他們不吝分享自己的觀點，但他們會強調這些都只是觀點，而不是事實。無論談論的話題是氣候變暖，國家政治，還是疫苗接種程序，或者是轉基因食品，萬人迷都能認清智力水平相當的人都有各自不同的觀點的事實。
7.They are authentic。
7. 他們很真誠。
Irresistible people are who they are. Nobody has to burn up energy or brainpower trying to guess their agenda or predict what they’ll do next. They do this because they know that no one likes a fake。
萬人迷就是他們自己。別人不需要費盡心思去揣測他們接下來的計劃是什么。他們這么真實，是因為他們知道沒有人喜歡虛偽的人。
People gravitate toward authentic individuals because they know they can trust them. It’s easy to resist someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel。
人們都受真誠的人吸引，那是因為他們知道這些人值得信任。當你無法真正地認識一個人，也無法感受他的真實所想的時候，你很難與他交往。
8.They have integrity。
8. 他們都言行一致。
People with high integrity are irresistible because they walk their talk, plain and simple. Integrity is a simple concept but a difficult thing to practice. To demonstrate integrity every day, irresistible people follow through, they avoid talking bad about other people, and they do the right thing, even when it hurts。
誠實正直的人常常都很受歡迎，那是因為他們能夠履行承諾，踏實，簡單。言行一致說起來很簡單，但實踐起來很難。萬人迷每天都保持言行一致，避免說別人的壞話，甚至在造成傷害時也能很好地處理。
9.They smile。
9. 保持笑容。
People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to find you irresistible, smile at them during conversations and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result。
人們常常會自然地(和無意地)反思對方交談時的肢體語言。如果你想給吸引他人，那么在交談的時候多微笑，然后對方就會無意識地給你相應的反饋并且感覺良好。
10.They make an effort to look their best (just not too much of an effort)。
10.適度保持自己的最佳狀態(tài)。
There’s a massive difference between being presentable and being vain. Irresistible people understand that making an effort to look your best is comparable to cleaning your house before company comes—it’s a sign of respect for others. But once they’ve made themselves presentable, they stop thinking about it。
光潔體面與奢華虛榮之間的差別是非常大的。萬人迷能夠清楚認識，花點心思保持最佳狀態(tài)就好比同事到家做客前的大掃除——都是對他人的尊重。不過一旦他們形成這種光彩照人的習慣，他們就不必再花費心思在這上面了。
11.They find reasons to love life。
11. 尋找生活的樂趣，熱愛生活。
Irresistible people are positive and passionate. They’re never bored, because they see life as an amazing adventure and approach it with a joy that other people want to be a part of。
萬人迷都是積極樂觀，充滿激情的。他們永遠不會感到疲憊，因為他們把生活當作一次奇妙的冒險旅程，并帶著快樂去探索，感染身邊的人，以致別人也想成為其中的一員。
It’s not that irresistible people don’t have problems—even big ones—but they approach problems as temporary obstacles, not inescapable fate. When things go wrong, they remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they keep hope that tomorrow or next week or next month will be better。
然而萬人迷并不是沒有煩惱的，甚至是很嚴重的煩惱，但是他們把這些煩惱當作暫時性的障礙，而不是不可擺脫的命運。當事情亂了套，他們會提醒自己，糟糕的一天也只是一天而已，他們仍然會對明天或下周，或下個月充滿希望，相信一切會好起來。
Bringing it all together。
小結
Irresistible people did not have fairy godmothers hovering over their cribs. They’ve simply perfected certain appealing qualities and habits that anyone can adopt as their own.They think about other people more than they think about themselves, and they make other people feel liked, respected, understood, and seen. Just remember: the more you focus on others, the more irresistible you’ll be。
萬人迷沒有仙女教母為他們搖搖藍，他們僅僅是完善了某些吸引人的特質和習慣，其實每個人都可以借鑒。他們在乎他人多于在乎自己，他們努力讓他人感受到喜愛，尊重，理解和關注。只需要記�。耗阍搅粢馑�，你就越有魅力。
