More often than not, you encounter days where you just want someone in your life. This can be triggered by watching romantic comedies, reading an article on the internet or seeing your best friend happily settled with someone. Yes, they come, and they’re perfectly natural, but are you sure that’s what you really want?
常常在某些瞬間，你莫名渴望生活中能出現(xiàn)另一半�；蛟S只因剛剛看過(guò)幾部浪漫喜劇、在網(wǎng)上讀到某些文字，抑或因?yàn)榭吹胶门笥讯枷沧套虪可狭耸帧Ｋ麄兪侨绱俗匀欢滞昝赖爻霈F(xiàn)在一起�？墒�，你確定這當(dāng)真就是自己想要的嗎?
1. You’re just in love with the concept of love。
你只是喜歡愛(ài)情本身的美好。
Cliché but this is most likely the situation if you think a relationship will save your life’s monotony. People always have a romanticized notion of what having a boyfriend or girlfriend would make them feel like. You toy with the idea of having someone constantly with you, the dates and the candlelit dinners, but the exhilaration of having one only lasts in its early stages. If you expect too much from it you might jump into the first potential relationship you find and end up disappointed。
雖說(shuō)陳詞濫調(diào)，但也確實(shí)如此：如果你以為戀愛(ài)能救你擺脫無(wú)聊乏味，那必定只是喜歡“戀愛(ài)”字面的蘊(yùn)意。人們對(duì)談男女朋友總是充滿(mǎn)過(guò)于浪漫的幻想，覺(jué)得身邊會(huì)一直有人陪伴、能享受數(shù)不盡的約會(huì)和燭光晚餐。其實(shí)，這種情調(diào)只會(huì)短暫出現(xiàn)在戀愛(ài)初期。要是你懷著過(guò)高期望一頭扎進(jìn)去，最后只能失望收尾。
2. Do you even know yourself well enough already?
你已經(jīng)足夠了解自己了嗎?
It’s important to know yourself before becoming part of a relationship. If you don’t stand for anything, you’ll find yourself unconsciously giving too much and questioning if it was even enough。
談戀愛(ài)前一定要對(duì)自己足夠了解。如果你毫無(wú)立場(chǎng)，到時(shí)候會(huì)不自覺(jué)地?zé)o限付出，還一直困惑自己到底付出得夠不夠。
Set standards on the people you want to be in your life and how you want to be treated. Know what you’re worth and eventually, you’ll make him or her believe it too。
生活中要出現(xiàn)另一半時(shí)，先定下雙方相處原則。你要清楚自己的價(jià)值，然后讓對(duì)方相信你有這樣的價(jià)值。
3. You just got out of one recently。
你剛剛結(jié)束一段戀情
When you’ve just broken up with your ex, finding a rebound would seem like the most convenient solution. It’s an easy distraction from the past, all of a sudden your attention is claimed by someone else。
若你剛和前任分手，找個(gè)備胎貌似再簡(jiǎn)單不過(guò)了。你的注意力突然轉(zhuǎn)移到了另一個(gè)人身上，自然更容易忘記過(guò)去。
However, this shortcut to recovery is also short-lived. If you’re not genuinely ready, it will show. Give it time, enjoy being single and save someone else from the heart ache。
可是，這條捷徑恢復(fù)得快，結(jié)束得也快。如果你還沒(méi)有真正準(zhǔn)備好，后面會(huì)給你顏色看。所以，慢慢來(lái)，先享受好單身生活，別再輕易傷害到另一個(gè)人。
4. You can’t even make yourself happy。
你甚至都無(wú)法使自己快樂(lè)
Some people assume that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the ticket to happiness. They think that it will make things lighter and easier because there’s someone there to make them feel content. Though relationships may have this effect, you have to note that if your happiness is dependent on someone else and this person doesn’t meet those expectations, you’ll end up more miserable than you started。
有些人想當(dāng)然以為，只要有男朋友或女朋友就會(huì)過(guò)得快樂(lè)。他們以為，到時(shí)候一切會(huì)變得容易而輕松，因?yàn)樯磉厱?huì)有人安慰呵護(hù)他們。當(dāng)然，戀愛(ài)確實(shí)能帶來(lái)這些好處，但請(qǐng)別忘了：如果你把幸福托付給別人，一旦這個(gè)人達(dá)不到你的期望，你會(huì)超級(jí)受傷、悔不當(dāng)初。
It’s your job to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled, with or without a partner. A relationship simply adds value to you but it shouldn’t be the one that completes you。
所以，不論有沒(méi)有戀人，快樂(lè)和滿(mǎn)足都只能靠你自己創(chuàng)造。戀愛(ài)只能為你增光添彩，卻無(wú)法替代完整的你。
5. Will it fit in your priorities?
戀愛(ài)是你的當(dāng)務(wù)之急嗎?
If you’re a person who has a vision and a plan, this is a good question to ask yourself. How will a romantic relationship fit in with your priorities? If you know that right now, you’re still building your career and there’s a lot at stake, is it the right time to have one? While you’re finishing one project after another, having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a nice to have that you think about during your breaks。
如果你有自己的目標(biāo)和規(guī)劃，那很有必要捫心自問(wèn)：一段浪漫的戀愛(ài)是否是當(dāng)務(wù)之急?如果你確信如此，別忘了你正在努力打拼事業(yè)，百事待興，這時(shí)候談戀愛(ài)適合嗎?你正項(xiàng)目接項(xiàng)目地忙活，喘息時(shí)想想身邊能有個(gè)伴兒是件非常美好的事。
If you’re fully aware that it’s not one of your main concerns, there’s a high probability that you’ll take your partner for granted. It would be more beneficial and practical for you to allocate your time to what’s important to you as of the moment and avoid disappointing someone else。
如果你非常清楚這不是你的重中之重，那就算有戀人，你很可能也不會(huì)特別投入。這種情況下，倒不如把時(shí)間用來(lái)做當(dāng)下最重要的任務(wù)，不要徒勞使他人失望罷。
It’s easy to be blinded by the media, past experiences and couples that you encounter about what a romantic relationship will bring you. But before you get consumed by your desire to have one or worse, be brought down by its current unattainability, be wise enough to think twice about it, what you want right now might not be what you need。
媒體宣傳、以往經(jīng)歷或身邊情侶很可能誤導(dǎo)你對(duì)浪漫戀愛(ài)的理解。在你沖動(dòng)想要戀愛(ài)前，不如清醒認(rèn)識(shí)到目前的不切實(shí)際性，理智做到三思而后行——你現(xiàn)在所渴望的，未必就是你需要的。
